The Storm(s)

 So on October 26 2010, there was  a Tornado Warning that turned to a Tornado Watch for the town my college is in and the surrounding area. All of the students were hoping and praying that it would be an over glorified wind storm that would knock out the power for a day or two so that classes would be canceled. Yet as the storm picked up from a strong wind to a torrential down pour as well as the the strong wind. Thunder and lightning added to the effect and the power of the storm. As the mass phone calls, e-mails, and text messages were sent out from the campus police there was some panic but mostly movement to a safe shelter in the buildings. I was in the music department where there are multiple tornado shelter areas. We, the music staff and students, were sitting in the music major lounge and talking. Some of us more brave went outside under a over hang to experience the storm. The torrential down pour and wind made the visibility very poor. The wind was throwing leaves, pushing trees, throwing rain every which way. I was amazed the sheer power of storm and was in awe of all that was happening. I left and went back inside and waited for the Tornado Watch to be lifted. As I was waiting, I was listening to Karl Jenkin's Requiem: Dies Irae. After the Watch was lifted and the calm started to come in, slowly but surely. The rain slowed and the wind started to die down. All of the campus started to come back alive and move into the next hour of life.

We went on with our lives and were slightly dismayed at the thought of classes starting again. We just went through a terrible storm. We talked about the epic happenings, our terror stories of being crammed in rooms and hallways. But no one talked about it much beyond that. The implications of the tornado nor the the strength and power of the storm that was nor that could be. We never even thought about the implications of that all authority, over all of the Earth and its workings, is God's which is given to Christ Jesus. AS I thought about this idea, I remembered a post I stated writing last semester, but never finished nor published. I was writing it in early April, it is as follows:

Yesterday here at college there was this awesome storm.It was a giant Thunderstorm and it was beautiful. Some are afraid of the storm but me on the other hand love to watch them. As a kid my brothers and I would open the garage door and set up chairs and just sit there and watch the storm; the rain falling and covering every surface it could reach, the lightning lighting up the dark sky, and the rolls of thunder always there to help us figure how far away the storm was.

Since I live in a dorm, it is hard to do that, plus I was working on homework at the time of the storm. But as soon as the rain stopped, I went outside. It was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The storm was all around but the rain was gone, and you could see was flashes of lightning lighting up the sky and showing all the dark clouds blocking out the sky. The lightning turned the clouds around it a nice rich purple hue and the rolls of thunder coming a long way off was reassuring of the storm was near but the rain gone. The power and strength of the storm near and threatening but not bearing down upon me.


I thoroughly enjoy the rain, and all the life it brings to the dead world in Spring Time. I am just in awe of the beauty of the earth, even under the curse and being broken, it shouts, points to, and declares the LORD's Majesty, Strength, and Creativity. 

 I would have to say the same is true in the face of the a storm that threatens destruction.For me the phrase and the song, I Will Praise You in the Storm,  took on a more literal meaning for me, rather than a poetical one during this storm. I am always in awe of the power and majesty of storms and their creator. When I think about it, a force of nature which can destroy me, has to obey the LORD's command. The LORD that saved me, who loves me, and provides for me even in the midst of the the "storms" in life. The problems, the pains, and all other tribulations in life where we only see whats in front of us and not the full picture. We may observe the power and the works of God on the other side of the storm but very rarely do we think about the power and the behind the scenes works that are going on as they are happening. But vision is 20/20 in hindsight, and its easier to see the working and the effects of  the storm when the storm dies and the light illuminates the happenings/effects of the storm.

Just a thought, something to ponder next time a storm or a "storm" comes and disturbs our lives.

To Be A Man...

"To be a Man: You must be swift as the coursing river; With all the force of a great typhoon; With all the strength of a raging fire; Mysterious as the dark side of the moon" -From Disney's Mulan

One of my favorite Disney songs and a very good example of how we in the western culture view what it means to be a man, even with the allusions to the East. And what does it actually mean to be a man? All young men and boys are seeking to find this out as well as some "men". 


Two now going onto three weeks ago my dorm put on an event called "Man Week." The week in question, allows the guys of  the dorm to be challenged and to start a conversation on what does it REALLY mean to be a MAN? We had "Man Challenges" where we exhausted the stereotypes of manhood, such as eating and feats of strength and then had a speaker give us his take on manliness and manhood. We were focusing on one verse "Act like MEN: Be Strong, Do Everything in Love." - I Corinthians 16:13-14 (my version of the text). We were discussing the many facets of love and how most people don't equate love with being strong.

Once again my whole Love God, Love Others has popped up. (side note, I feel like God has been pounding this into my head lately). We were all challenged with the idea of self-sacrificing love to those around us, our families, and to our wives in the future. We need to give and give and give with no thought of ever seeing a return. We also talked about cruciformity (conforming to the crucifixion) , service, humility; how it takes a strong man to embody these virtues, and how it actually, probably takes a man relying solely on God's strength being worked out in him to embody these traits.

Looking back on what was discussed and what was observed on what Men look like I know that all men are made for greatness of some form, and we do not want to be any creature other creature other than a man. We don't want to be a pig, a gorilla, an ape, or a weasel. We want to be... loved, respected, validated, and a man. Yet as a boy we have no idea on when we become a man, how to become a man, or what to do when we reach manhood, and it is a scary, scary thing. We want to know and normally we look to our role models, mainly our fathers, and other males in our live. Also, we look up like our favorite superheroes, action heroes in the movies or on TV.  But where does this lead us? Sometimes down the wrong road; some of us, myself included, don't have a father around or one that is a great role model. Where and to whom should we turn to? There a bunch of books that talk about manhood, what it looks like and how we reach it; what the nature of manhood is. Yet I feel, like everything else in life, you can talk and think about it all you want but you will not do any good till you actually do something about it. So where do you turn and what do you do once you learn what manhood is?

Unlike other cultures we do not not have a rite of passage for a boy to become a man, a catalyst to propel the boy to become a man and take all the responsibilities of it. It forces the boy to grow, challenge himself, his thought, beliefs, and ideas. It causes him to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and/or in maturity. My rites of passage are not ideal at best but there are what they are. First, I had to grow up pretty quickly when my parents separated, and yet wanted to hold on to my childhood. It was hard and I am who I am because all of the happenings. In addition I went through a Counselor in Training program known as LGP, or Leadership Growth Program, at camp. I was challenged, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and that changed who I was to the path leading to where I am today. Yet I am still searching what it means to be a man in a world were a male can just be a guy and never really reach manhood, sure he may reach adulthood legally based on how old he is, but never become a man.We as males are asked where are all the men? Honestly, I don't know, most are taken while most have just not reached that level of growth in maturity, myself included I have to say.

Manhood: something I am still trying to figure out on my journey through life.  One thing is Sure and it is "I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago... " -Donald Miller

The Summer and Summer Loving

Due to work, lack of time and lack of a computer I was unable to post and I even forgot i had a blog till now. funny yes I know but its the sad truth. Over the summer my goal was to read the book St. Augustine's Confessions, and failed; instead I read Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, God Will Make a Way by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life by Dr. Henry Cloud. 

I worked as a Lifeguard back home in the County owned pool and taught swim lessons to kids. My vacation from this craziness was a glorious week back at camp as a camp counselor. So I got paid to yell at people and tan, at work and volunteered to do that at camp. Actually, at both work and camp my Goal and plan was to Love and Love On those who I worked with, served, and looked after. I certainly had my good days and bad days with this but that was my lesson for the year and summer, LOVE. Love God and Love Others, the two greatest commandments of the Bible, according to Jesus in Matt. 22:34-40. It was that simple, or so I thought. It was tough, Love is giving freely of yourself and no expecting things in return, love is patient, kind, holds no record of wrong, etc., but in the hot son when everyone is irritable it is hard to love the co-worker who has "screwed" you over, or the patron who is yelling at you because you told them that their child cannot be in the pool with out a swim diaper. 

But above all these petty little things, I had to look how I loving those who were closest to me. This didn't hit me till towards the end of the summer, due to the reading of God Will Make A Way. Because of that book kicking me in the butt I started looking hard and fast at relationships and the lack-there-of. I started praying for God to do what he wanted with my life and for me to have wisdom to make the right choices for and in the future. Let me just warn you now, if you pray for this and truly mean it, it won't be a cake walk in candy-land. God took my prayer and answered it with love, tough love. I had many decisions to make and a short time to make them. I had to figure out if I would be able to return to college, decide on whether or not I should stay with my girlfriend, and how to rebuild my relationship with my father and everything that went with all that and on top of it. 

So life stunk a little but in the end it all worked out for good. My girlfriend and I are now ex-boyfriend and girlfriend but not ex-friends. We  are working on being friends still but at least we talk. My dad and I are now working on having a relationship that works instead of pretending we actually had one. I am back at college with all the perks of being a student. Life marches on and I am faced with many many challenges like to change or not to change majors in my junior year. I was actually depressed for a couple days, but I am better and God love me this broken vessel that I am. O and that whole Love God and Love Others thing, well the Student Activities Board is selling Bracelets that say that exact thing... funny how sometimes God has to beat us over the head with something. So now that i have rambled on abut my summer and lack-there-of i just have to say is LOVE: Love God, Love Others.

Facades...

The Definition:

• a false, superficial, or artificial appearance or effect (merriam-webster.com)
• a superficial appearance or illusion of something (dictionary.com)

The Confession:
I am guilty of this wearing a mask or a facade. We all are. Its just part of who we are, we show what we want and hide behind it. We are a product of Western Society and the Victorian Age, all about appearances and moving ahead in the social ladder, rather than being real or even human. We put on our masks and act, like hypocrites. We actually get the word hypocrite from the Greek word for actors, who wore masks while acting. We hide behind our masks and don't show who were we truly are because we believe if people saw us for who we really are they would run, disown, laugh, and abandon us. We dare not show others the us that we only see behind locked doors, in the protection of the dark and the night.We are ugly and broken and NO ONE in their right mind would ever want to be around me and all this ugly baggage we carry. 


The Conviction:
I feel we need to not fake it but be real especially those we love, like friends, family, and significant others. We need to be vulnerable, which is easier said than done. For all those who have been burned while being vulnerable, knows what I am saying, and it is hard you don't want to play with this fire again, and i understand. I am not saying we need to bare all to everyone, show everyone all the skeletons in the closet, but rather share them with those you love and those who love you back. With everyone else be real, be you, not your mask or one of your many masks. Share your true thoughts, feeling, show your True Colors. Those who are True Friends will love on you and be there through it all.

The Contemplation:
This whole time I have been preaching to the choir, and myself. I am an actor, both on and off stage. I am a hypocrite and am working on being real. For I do not want the mask to become me or me to become the mask; I want to be me!We all sometimes think we are Monsters, as the Skillet Song "Monster" states. I just sometimes dream and wonder what the world would be like if we did not just follow this facade and were real and truthful, what the world would look like. If we were real and loved everyone for who they are we would live in a different world, a better world.

I want to leave you with this song and its lyrics. Think about what its saying. Is it True? Is it True of You, Society as a Whole, The World?

Contemplation On The Cross

I want to start this with this song... its words say a lot and is the best way I could think of to start this post. it is called "Deliver Us"

The Cross a symbol of Christianity, of pain, suffering, shame, death, love, and redemption. But most people see the cross everyday, either on clothing, jewelry, or a church but what does this symbol do mean or even do for the world? since we see it everywhere we have become numb to the power it holds, and have replaced the true meaning of the cross with how we feel about it, the people who cling to it and God. When the true meaning of the cross is where God's Grace, Love and Wrath all met, and fell upon His only son. How can we wrap our minds around what that means? Unfortunately we only contemplate this about once a year or twice a year maybe even more, but unlikely. So we can not understand the power of the cross. The perfect Adam, Jesus, was tortured, mocked, and killed so the real Adam, the first Adam, and all his descendants would have to be punished. That is Love and Grace for us while Jesus took the Wrath of God. But this is only one part of the story...

Today on Easter Sunday, or apply named Resurrection Sunday, Jesus Raised from the dead! The God-Man got up and walked out after being dead for two going on three days. Because He conquered Death so can we through him. The best way for me to end this is like i started it, through these songs entitled "The Wonderful Cross" and "How He Loves" enjoy the songs and meditate on them.

Contemplation On Names

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
-Romeo and Juliet Act II Scene ii

Ahhh but have you ever looked up what you name means? Does it fit you well and do you live up to the name? Go ahead open a new tab with this link and look up the meaning of your first and, if you have one, middle name. SO... What did you learn? Does the name fit you? Do you live up to the name? Were your parents correct in naming you? It is kinda weird and amazing at the same time to think about this. For instance My first name is David, meaning Beloved or Beloved of God from Hebrew and my Middle name Aaron means Bearer of Light again from Hebrew. Wow these are great names to have but can I live up to them and do they fit me? Can I Live up to David, the King of Israel, the one who defeated the giant known as Goliath? He was called a man after God's Own Heart. How can I be that and live up to that name and Aaron who was the first Priest of Israel. Yes, both failed and had flaws for they were human but they also had great faith and were great leaders as well.

And what about nicknames? They almost always have a meaning behind them and almost always fits weather we like them or not. I have had Dave, stage-crafter, Dorito Dave, Hey You and many others. Or what about this question, What do YOU call your self? Human, the name you parents call you, something terrible,something nice, what? What we call ourselves reveals more about who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes we have a poor perception on ourselves but we are human, broken, and sinful. But we are all unique and beautiful, Made in the image of God.

Now, think about having a name that means "The LORD is Salvation". WOW that is a name that has powerful statement. Now with a name like that how a bout having these names attached to it?

1. Man of Sorrows
2. Son of Man
3. Son Of God
4. Lion of Judah
5. The Lamb
6. Hosanna
7. Christ, meaning "Anointed One" or "Messiah"
8. Emanuel

These names are what What Jesus is know as and He has many more names that could be made into a blog itself but that is besides the point.

But how about a name I call my self based off of this name... Christian or Follower of Christ. Christian means "Little Christ" or a Follower of Christ, who is someone that follows what Christ has Taught and Lived and has faith in Christ being the Savoir for sinners, aka all of mankind. Do I live up to this name i call myself? Well that is what I am striving for and struggling to do. I believe all Christians should be doing this and repent when they fall short, for Just because someone is Christian does not mean they are sinless, they are still a practicing sinner who has been forgiven and is struggling to combat the sin. For that reason, I, as well as everyone else, must remember what you are called and what you call yourself as well as its meaning. Then continue to try to live up to it...

Confession Of The Wrongs of The Church

A Pastor once stated, "Christ is love, it's the Christians who are mean." The sad part is Many people believe this. Just look through history or for a matter of fact look at the "Christians" of today.The Church, which is Christ's body, is not functioning properly. She is broken and more like a monster than a healer. As St. Augustine said, "The Church is a whore but she is my mother." The church is not what it should be but with out it many people would not be who they are now.

Therefore, I on behalf of the Church, the Church of God and the Followers of Jesus, would like to apologize. I Would like to apologize for all the wrong the church has done since its birth to today, whether it be intentional or unintentional. I apologize for turning a blind eye to someone in need, the poor, the widows, the orphans, the sick, the elderly, and the oppressed. I apologize for hating those who are different rather than loving them, judging and condemning instead of being light and salt; for Christians are not called to Judge, for that is God's job, but rather be salt and light to the World. I apologize for any "holy" wars and verbal attacks. I apologize for Racial inequality, in the church, as well as the gay bashing and hatred. As well as any personal attacks someone has made against you; for this is not how the body of Christ is supposed to act.

In addition I would like to ask for forgiveness of all the wrongs and sins I have partaken of form the list above. For I have grown up in the church, and I am a Christian. and I apologize for turning a blind eye to someone in need, the poor, the widows, the orphans, the sick, the elderly, and the oppressed. I apologize for hating those who are different rather than loving them, judging and condemning instead of being light and salt; for Christians are not called to Judge, for that is God's job, but rather be salt and light to the World. I apologize for any "holy" wars and verbal attacks I may be a part of. I apologize for Racial inequality and the jokes i have laughed at as well as the gay bashing and jokes. I apologize for any personal attacks I have made against people.