OK, So I'm still stalling but...

Yeah I'm stalling on the post i am and have been working on for a couple weeks now. I am doing so because I am busy and I am being careful with my word choices and what i say as to not add to the white noise that we call online social media and blogs. I am trying to be: real and reasonable; open and sensitive; gritty and true (in both senses of the word). So until I finish writing and editing what I am trying to say I postpone and stall. so rather than me add to the white noise here are links to good posts and articles I read this past week from other blogs which stood out to me.

Bri Dupree -Judging Worship: "How foul my worship must smell in the nostrils of God when I turn up my own nose at the ways others worship?"

Tim Gombis - On Thomas, Who Doubted: "May we, O God, by grace believe/and thus the risen Christ receive/whose raw imprinted palms reached out/and beckoned Thomas from his doubt."

Jason Boyett - Mumford and Christian Celebrities: "Let’s enjoy his art for what it is. Let’s stop worrying about high-profile Christians, stop obsessing about fame, stop hoisting the legitimacy of our own beliefs onto someone else’s powerful shoulders."

Sammy Adebiyi - The Gay Community and A Troll: WARNING: This post contains language that may be offense to some. If you are easily offended by language you may want to skip this article.

Tim Gombis - Paul's Politics of Exile: "American evangelicals would do well to consider how Israel’s exile shaped Paul’s conception of the church—his vision of a weak and vulnerable wandering people among the nations."

Brandon Ambrosino - Being Gay at Jerry Falwell's University: "It's a typical story, really. Boy meets girl. Girl goes to college. Boy follows her to college. Girl decides to date other boys. Boy decides that's a good idea, and also dates other boys."

A Series of Confessions: The Dark Side of the Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioRrydp6FTI

I have come to realize, no come to accept and acknowledge that I am very much controlled by my emotions and the circumstances around me. I sometimes feel very emotional and those emotions, whether good or bad, control me; that is until I realize how ridiculous I am being.

This being said I have come to realize, accept, and/or acknowledge that this also effects my faith and daily walk with Him who created and saved me. I am very easily swayed or distracted from my personal walk. This actually causes a vicious cycle of life for me. I know my days are infinitely better if I am in communion with God and am fully relying on Him; If I am not in communion with Him, through prayer, scripture reading, and other spiritual disciplines, I end up becoming emotional, in a bad way. I become callused, hurt, depressed, angry, or some other emotion;,which leads me not to my knees but away from that and towards some destructive thing, or other and brings me back to the place I have left. The exact place I didn't want to return to. This starts the same emotions again. Then cycle starts over and over again but in a downward spiral pattern.

How sad it is. I will be on Fire for the Lord and slowly let it fade to almost nothing, then being kicked in the butt or smacked upside the head and change and to let the fire grow to a blaze again only to allow it to fade. It all starts with how much sleep and the quality of it, friends, stress, and other stuff taking priority over what really matters; it's quite sad actually.

And in those days where I feel like "God, Why do you love me? How Can You? I am so ugly, so dark, soon and so on... "

God Shines his light in my darkness and smiles on his child, "My child, my son. yes you have fallen, yes you still have to deal with your brokenness and your sin but i have forgiven you, washed you white as snow in my eyes for not only have i cleaned the slate for you i have thrown it out and its on the ocean floor forgotten."

On Major Changes, Changing Majors, & Trusting God, Part 1

It was during Break and it was an e-mail. An e-mail that held my fate, an e-mail that told me whether or not I was going to graduate on time, if I could continue on the path I had planned out for myself. I took a deep breath and clicked it open and it stated:

David, 

I regret having to write this email: but you did not make it through, not by a long shot. Your final percentage was 64%, and this simply isn't good enough to give you a decent chance in 2320... I'm sorry Dave, but you can't go on to 2320.

I apologize that I must be the bearer of bad news: but that is where we stand.

Best,
Teacher

Let's Rewind a bit: We all have dreams growing up of being a fireman, astronaut, actor, vet, or policeman, but very few of us ever keep one dream and switch around until the last moment... when we declare ur major in college. Even then we sometimes change our minds.We figure out our lives in High School now a days.

We plan out every detail of what college, major, job, where to live, how many kids, and so on....

That was me. I had made plans to be a Music Teacher, change lives through music like in Mr. Holland's Opus or Music of the heart. I didn't figure this out until the end of my junior year in high school when I decided to combine my two interest, interacting with kids and music.

I had been bugged by my mother since middle school to think of what I wanted to do with my life. She meant well because when it came to that she was on her own growing up. She had to figure it out without any help and she wanted to help. So she pushed me and well I made a choice and all the right doors opened. I picked my college and was accepted to the school but also to the music education program.

That's when i ran into a road block, the music major's weed out class: Aural Skills. Aural skills is also know as ear training is a skill by which musicians learn to identify, solely by hearing, pitches, intervals, melody, chords, rhythms, and other basic elements of music. The application of this skill is analogous to taking dictation in written/spoken language.

I Barely passed Level 1, took me 3 tries to pass level 2, and still needed to pass levels 3 and 4 to get my degree. This pass semester I was a passing Aural Skills III with a C-, and that is all I needed. Yet, it all came down to the final and I felt confident, since I got a 75% on the practice final. I walked out dazed and confused which did not help me in my sight-singing half of the final either.

So Then all I could do was pray and wait for the grades to come out. I had asked my professor to send me an e-mail telling me my grade before the grades came out.

And there it was, the e-mail just sitting there in my in box. An e-mail that held my fate, an e-mail that told me whether or not I was going to graduate on time, if I could continue on the path I had planned out for myself. I took a deep breath and clicked it open.

I just sat there, took it in, took a deep breath and then closed it. I now needed to figure out what to do with  my life next... and the saying rang true: "the best laid schemes of mice and men/ oft go awry."

Christians: Haters of All Mankind? Part 3

This is the last post in this series. And this one is a story, story about me, of all people, on my way to church Monday 1/2/12 for the bible study that started this whole series.
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I had just finished dinner and looked at the clock, it told me I had about 2.5 hours till the College and Career group meeting started and so I had about 2 hours give or take before i had to leave. this gave me a chance to change out of my pj's I was wearing all day, take a shower and maybe even read more of my current reading choice.

Time flew by as i accomplished all my goals. I grabbed my bible, my journal for notes, my current reading selection, coat and then proceed to check, keys, cell, i-pod, and we are good.

The drive was good, not too much traffic seeing it was the day after New Years and many people had off or took off because  *cough, cough* they were sick. so as I chug down Route 1 to church in my 2000 Ford Station wagon jamming to Needtobreathe on my i-pod I start thinking about the day,what the New Year holds and just how life is going to unfold.

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." is a small bit of truth from the good old movie Forrest Gump. Well, this is a bit of truth that i should live by because of what happened as I neared the church.

As i pulled up to the traffic light, waiting to cross the road to get to church. As I came to a complete stop I notice the man who had just crossed the street to the Right of my car. At first I didn't take to much attention to him because there is a convenience store on that corner as well as a bus stop and Train Station to my left.

But as I sat there waiting I noticed he was not moving fast, he had a cart and a crutch. Then I noticed why he was moving slow on this cold night and had a crutch his one foot was badly out of place. He was walking on a ankle and the side of the foot on one side.

My heart broke, and I wanted to offer him a ride to where he needed to go. Then fear crept in. I started debating back and forth about being on time, what if he has a knife, what about my stuff, WWJD, How am I going to be able to stop in the middle of a busy road, and its so cold out...

Then the light Turned green and I went to church. Still debating to myself I find a parking spot and go in. I realize I am really early due to the lack of traffic. We pray for the night and have our study.

During the study of God is love we have a group discussion on what is love? One guy points out we are to love the homeless, the orphan, the widow, etc. and my stomach swallows my heart and ties itself into knots. I know this I have done street ministry before, I care but when I feel safe.

I was wrong, I could have helped the man but I didn't, I am still working on my Love for Others as I am working on my Love for God. So I also need to practice what I teach, Love the lost even the ones you don't know.

Christians: Haters of All Mankind? Part 2

In the first post we looked at Love and what love is according to well the culture and the Bible. But I want to expand on what I said earlier about Judgement.

People always say, "Don't Judge ME! Don't attack me, my beliefs, thoughts, who I am!" because they do not like to be burned. No one like to put out themselves their true self out there only to be squashed by judgmental, sarcastic people. They do not like being judged because in reality they do not want to be condemned to be on the outside looking in, condemned to be a loser, a freak, or a weirdo, condemned to never belong, condemned to be who and what they are forever.

So the whole "Love me for what I am and don't try to change me" is just a defense mechanism, a way to say I am who I am and that is fine by me, and I don't care who or what I hurt being me. If they can't deal with it that's there problem.

Christians have been known ton be Judgmental and have probably added to the mess that has started this movement. As Christians we are told to Judge not or lest we be judged and we are also told to judge sin as sin.

Conflicting messages all around of if we, Christians, are to judge and if so what to judge.

The best way to look at this is to look at what Christ did when he was on earth:

One Passage is the woman caught in adultery. The woman caught in adulatory who, by the Jewish Law, was yo be stoned is brought in front f Jesus. Instead of giving the okay, Jesus says something to the crowd, or rather mob, eager to have justice. Jesus says "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." and the crowd leaves one by one starting with the older and wiser ones down to the young men till no one is left. Jesus says to he woman,  “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She answers, “No one, Lord.” Then Jesus says, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” Wow Reconciliation and Grace and no condemnation.

The Pharisees and Religious Leaders: Jesus always did this through the power of parables. Best one to look at is the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Everyone knows this story but the older son is suppose to represent the Religious Leaders. Go back and reread the Passage. Jesus through the story Judges the religious leaders to come and rejoice in the lost that was found and to stop laboring for the wrong reasons. Come Join the Family Feast.

US: God spent all of the time post Gen 3 to redeem and reconcile us with Him. Back to the Garden State, the way it is supposed to be. That is why Christ dame, why He healed, Lived as man, died, and rose again. For Reconciliation of mankind, marred by the sin of their own hands, back to their God.  Let me explain further in a Question, How Great is God that He not only Wipes the slate clean but throws it down to the Ocean Floor, Forgotten?

What did Christ Do he Judged them not to condemnation but to reconciliation... that's right Reconciliation!

As Christians, Little Christs, Children of God, Followers of Jesus, We are to Judge in Love to bring people to Reconciliation with God.

So Do Not Condemn, its not your Job or Place; Rather Go forth and Love and bring the lost back with you.

Christians: Haters of All Mankind? Part1

Monday January 2nd, 2012 I went to my church's College and Career Bible Study. We have been doing a verse by verse/topical study of 1 John; that night we looked at Love.

Love it is a very ambiguous term, especially in our culture we use it for a variety of things from our "love" of Starbucks, to the "love" a mother has for her newborn, to the "love" we have for the girl or guy on the dance floor. Love in our culture has become a word to describe anything from a shallow definition to a deep meaningful understanding. We also have a hard time to define love because we only have one word to describe multiple forms of love, whereas other languages and cultures have multiple words for love.

Christians are supposed to Love and are even told by Jesus to "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "Love God". Even non-Christians and nonreligious people remind Christians of that. "Hey didn't your god say 'Love' all the time?" And unfortunately they see Christians as "Haters of All Mankind," the same way the early church was called "Haters of All Mankind" and persecuted for that.

But why is that? Why are Christians, who are supposed to Love so against Love?

Christians are known for their hate, their bigotry, and their hypocrisy. Even some Christians see this and rebel and call out other Christians to Love.

So what Love does the world want from Christians? Most People want acceptance; they want you to accept them for who or what they are no matter what and don't even try to judge me. They spread the message of "You are perfect the way you are and don't need to change, no mater what" while also saying "if anyone tells you otherwise, they need to change."

Wait Hold on! They are sending two conflicting messages of what love is and what acceptance is.

So what do Christians mean when they talk about Love?

Christians talk about the Love of God, the Love that flows from God, because "God is Love". He Demonstrated his love that while we were still sinners Christ Died for us and because of that he not only wiped the slate clean but throws it to the ocean floor, forgotten. The love that he provided himself as the propitiation for our sins and took his own wrath upon himself.

So Christians are not against Love they have a whole passage on Love, the Famous "Love is patient Love is kind.." They also worship the God who stated the Greatest Commandment is to Love God, Love Others.

So its not that Christians are against love they are against any cheap imitation of true love, the love that flows from the Father.

Books, Books, and Yes More Books

Books, I love books don't you? They are marvelous things, books; they hold a vast amount of knowledge and can take you anywhere you like. Distract you from reality and take you to where imagination rules. They are great things books are, but they are not reality. So please don't confuse the two

I had a goal of reading the bible over this past year (1//1/10-12/31/10) from cover to cover (in chronological order for personal growth and not academic studies), but failed in the end. Therefore I am finishing the Bible now while I am dedicated top finishing that old goal and then I will start writing out the Bible in journals. I am planning to start in the Gospel of John. It is a simple Gospel but full of great insight from Jesus' Beloved. 

In addition to reading the Bible, I have a stack of books to read and i mean a stack of books; no they are not for school, that's a different stack. These are books I read for fun. and i just added like four (4) books to the list. and i have the two books I wanted read over this past summer that i put off, to read. but I get so excited over new books I read them first. So I just Finished two of the four books. I have Read Touching Godliness Through Submission by K.P. Yohannan and Just Do Something: How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc. by Kevin DeYoung. I am now reading Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life then I plan to read The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men by Richard D. Phillip. All along with the 18 credit hours I am taking and working. Sigh this is why I never have anytime to read or enjoy books anymore. I hope you all have a chance to read and learn something from the books in life.


Speaking of Life, Life is a story book that is blank; you are the author writing your own story in it. each day is a blank page, each year a new chapter in life.Are you living the story you would want to read, one that is inspiring or a good moral story, or a Story you would want to live out? Let life's road take you where you need to go and learn along the way but live life, don't just cruise along. So go live and learn from life, books, friends, mentors and other things.God Bless Your Journey. Enjoy!