The Trinity: A Puritan Prayer/Devotion

THE TRINITY
from the book Valley of Vision 


Three in One, One in Three,
God of my salvation,



Heavenly Father, blessed Son, eternal Spirit,

I adore thee as one Being, one Essence,

   one God in three distinct Persons,

   for bringing sinners to thy knowledge and to thy kingdom.

O Father, thou hast loved me and sent Jesus to

     redeem me;

O Jesus, thou hast loved me and assumed my

      nature,

   shed thine own blood to wash away my sins,

   wrought righteousness to cover my

      unworthiness;

O Holy Spirit, thou hast loved me and entered

    my heart, implanted there eternal life,

    revealed to me the glories of Jesus.

Three Persons and one God, I bless and praise thee,

    for love so unmerited, so unspeakable,

    so wondrous, so mighty to save the lost

    and raise them to glory.

O Father, I thank thee that in fullness of grace

    thou hast given me to Jesus, to be his sheep,

      jewel, portion;

O Jesus, I thank thee that in fullness of grace

    thou hast accepted, espoused, bound me;

O Holy Spirit, I thank thee that in fullness of

     grace thou hast

       exhibited Jesus as my salvation,

       implanted faith within me,

       subdued my stubborn heart,

       made me one with him for ever.

O Father, thou art enthroned to hear my prayers,

O Jesus, thy hand is outstretched to take my

        petitions,

O Holy Spirit, thou art willing to help my

    infirmities, to show me my need,

    to supply words, to pray within me,

    to strengthen me that I faint not in

        supplication.

O Triune God, who commandeth the universe,

    thou hast commanded me to ask for those

       things that concern thy kingdom and my soul.

Let me live and pray as one baptized into the

     threefold Name.

On Major Changes, Changing Majors, & Trusting God, Part 1

It was during Break and it was an e-mail. An e-mail that held my fate, an e-mail that told me whether or not I was going to graduate on time, if I could continue on the path I had planned out for myself. I took a deep breath and clicked it open and it stated:

David, 

I regret having to write this email: but you did not make it through, not by a long shot. Your final percentage was 64%, and this simply isn't good enough to give you a decent chance in 2320... I'm sorry Dave, but you can't go on to 2320.

I apologize that I must be the bearer of bad news: but that is where we stand.

Best,
Teacher

Let's Rewind a bit: We all have dreams growing up of being a fireman, astronaut, actor, vet, or policeman, but very few of us ever keep one dream and switch around until the last moment... when we declare ur major in college. Even then we sometimes change our minds.We figure out our lives in High School now a days.

We plan out every detail of what college, major, job, where to live, how many kids, and so on....

That was me. I had made plans to be a Music Teacher, change lives through music like in Mr. Holland's Opus or Music of the heart. I didn't figure this out until the end of my junior year in high school when I decided to combine my two interest, interacting with kids and music.

I had been bugged by my mother since middle school to think of what I wanted to do with my life. She meant well because when it came to that she was on her own growing up. She had to figure it out without any help and she wanted to help. So she pushed me and well I made a choice and all the right doors opened. I picked my college and was accepted to the school but also to the music education program.

That's when i ran into a road block, the music major's weed out class: Aural Skills. Aural skills is also know as ear training is a skill by which musicians learn to identify, solely by hearing, pitches, intervals, melody, chords, rhythms, and other basic elements of music. The application of this skill is analogous to taking dictation in written/spoken language.

I Barely passed Level 1, took me 3 tries to pass level 2, and still needed to pass levels 3 and 4 to get my degree. This pass semester I was a passing Aural Skills III with a C-, and that is all I needed. Yet, it all came down to the final and I felt confident, since I got a 75% on the practice final. I walked out dazed and confused which did not help me in my sight-singing half of the final either.

So Then all I could do was pray and wait for the grades to come out. I had asked my professor to send me an e-mail telling me my grade before the grades came out.

And there it was, the e-mail just sitting there in my in box. An e-mail that held my fate, an e-mail that told me whether or not I was going to graduate on time, if I could continue on the path I had planned out for myself. I took a deep breath and clicked it open.

I just sat there, took it in, took a deep breath and then closed it. I now needed to figure out what to do with  my life next... and the saying rang true: "the best laid schemes of mice and men/ oft go awry."

A Series Of Confessions: Scrooge, a Christmas Wish, and Music of the Heart

This post is in a series of posts; to understand The Reason(s) for these posts please click the hyper link.

I am scrooge when it comes to Christmas. Not Christmas the actual celebration but rather the consumerism, the craziness, the crazy family, the hoopla, the feeding of the American "Me, Myself, and I" complex, and so on. The day that comes from the Lord coming to bring "Peace to Earth" causing craziness and greediness that makes black Friday shoppers turn stampedes and even death. In addition I hate Christmas music and decorations happening before Thanksgiving and in October rather happening in December. In addition the holidays always bring out the best or worst of every family and my crazy family is no exception... i almost dread holidays because of family and coordinating around everyone else's schedule, pleasing everyone, buying presents... the holiday just brings stress to us and we are the 1% of the world that has money and more than half the time we want more than we have, are disappointed with what we received, or just down right ungrateful for our blessings.

Whatever happened to "...Good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." (Luke 2:10b-12 ESV, emphasis added) What happened to silent night, peace on earth, good will towards all men, and all that jazz? Christmas is not what it used to be; we went from Peace on earth to stabbings over a toy, what is wrong with people. SO BAH HUMBUG to what we call Christmas, the most egocentric-commercialized holiday in the US.

So my Christmas wished is two parts:

1. That the True meaning of Christmas will come back and take over this shadow of the holiday; that people will love each other, reach out and help their fellow man and love their neighbor as Jesus, God loves us.
2. That I will actually grow closer to God, this year has been crazy and here I am again not knowing what to say other than what Relient K says in a song:

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be...
and I, I Celebrate the Day
That you were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life~Relient K

 Finally I have been obsessed with the band Needtobreathe. they have two songs that have just been speaking to me so i want to share them so enjoy:

These Hard Times:

Something Beautiful:

A Series of Confession: I Need Christ More than I Admit

To have a full understanding of this post and the series it is apart of please read the Reason.

Its been a very long time since ive blogged and it upsets me... I am too busy... too independent... too dumb... and I need this as a stress release as well as a way to express my ideas and feelings and organize them.

Yet i need God more than i want to admit or let on even to myself. I Need him everyday and yet everyday i dont always act that way. I am independent dont trust anyone because they will fail me and i will have to work harder anyway. I just cannot sit still and relax. I become anxious. I have to do something... anything. Probably why I am stressed, always busy, and I cannot say no. Thus leading to sleep deprivation and hard time sleeping in general.

But any who i just expect my hard work to work out in the end. God gave ,me this talent, I use it, I do the work, ME, ME, ME, I, I, I... I don't see a line of black and white but rather a mist, a grey area where the two over lap and I assume that its my area to work in and take control and let my kingdom come. I have to learn when I pray, "Your Kingdom come" that automatically my kingdom has to go. I have a hard time doing this because I am an artist, a writer, a musician, an actor, a director... I love the arts. In these worlds you did the work, not God. God just was there to give you the talent...? Where does my hard work come into play?

Ok sorry about the rabbit trail... but I have been realizing that I am very emotional and my spiritual life is very much affected by this fact. I need God to be my refuge, my strength, my base line, my rock I cling to where ever I am spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. I need to be consistent in my walk... I need to not fake my way through this... I need not be fake with people... I need to be open... I need to be more dependent on my heavenly father who wants to give me good things, who loves me and who is perfect.

This is especially true when i am doing well "on my own" for pride goes before the fall and man do i fall hard... like the saying goes the bigger or higher they are the harder they fall. I just need to put back into practice my disciplines. Prayer is coming along and i have aids to help me when i don't know what to say, reading the bible and studying it well I'm working on it... these things take time and i'm short on it because its the end of the semester... lame excuse I know but its what i tell my self to fell better, or try to make myself feel better, failing at the moment btw.  But I was able to go do the Lord's work Last night in the downtown section of a near by city just praying for the people of the city and talking with a couple and praying for them. Sowing seeds and just trying to show them love and life, eternal life. this was a wonderful experience, a wake-up call, and smack-upside-the-head all wrapped up into 5 hours of a friday night.... and i can't wait to do it again... well life keeps on ticking and a paper is waiting for me.... ugh but tonight is a movie night for a class hopefully it will be a good night.\

God Bless all of you and thank you for reading my thoughts i need to get out on paper.

A Series of Confessions: O me, O my...

This post is in a series of posts; to understand The Reason(s) for these posts please click the hyper link.


Well in spite of "not having anything to post at the moment" I will post something.: A reflection if you will and a prayer. I had finished reading a book two months ago called O me of little faith by Jason Boyett. Also, in chapel on my campus there was a great speaker/pastor. He had spoke on counting trials, pain, and our "thorn in the flesh" pure joy. These two sermons with the addition of the book have caused me to think again. To think about how we as Christians who grew up in the church could be so hypocritical, lukewarm, cynical, and outright doubtful of things. I am one of those Christians; I am a bit cynical; I have doubts at times; I struggle and fail. Yet dispute all of this I am still Loved by God, one of His children, and a Christian. I'll put it this way, I am a passive-aggressive rebellious child of God, who every once and a while needs a reminder of the fact of the matter is still a Christian. This is kinda one of the reasons I want a Tattoo, but until that day comes I have been writing on my wrists with pen: on the left it says "Forgiven" and on the right "Loved". This allows me to see them and be reminded constantly that I am Loved and Forgiven by God and I am his; especially during the "face-palm" situations I have. I need to remember that I am a sinner saved by grace or how my pastor put it today in church, "I am a recovering hypocrite." 


So in light of that last paragraph over this past school year I have noticed some trends in my life and here are some of the findings. I find that when I am in a routine, getting enough sleep, low stress, and so on I tend to be a better person. I tend to deal better with people, and not be fake. I hate being fake, it makes me feel like I am an actor playing this character rather than a human being, living and breathing outside of the theater. It takes Shakespeare's quote "All the worlds a stage, And all the men and women merely players:" to a whole new  level. I almost feel like the actor in me never turned off. I have also realized that when I don't get sleep and I am stressed, I don't spend time with God and if it is is mediocre at best. At this point I start  depressed, cynical, and for lack of any other term, "Blarg." I need the very friends I push away and shut myself in a dark place away from others. I then feel alone and unwanted and unloved; I start to compare myself to who I want to be or to others and become a shell or a ghost of who I am and who I want to be. 


I Deal with these feelings of depression, being unloved, alone, and unwanted even in a room full of friends or people I know. I am human, broken and afflicted living in a broken world and both it and I have been marred by sin. Yet there is Redemption and Reconciliation. I am not alone at all; I am not unwanted or unloved. For One can never be too high to not need salvation and love nor can one ever be too low to receive salvation and love.


Dear Father,


You are great and mighty, you have laid the foundations of the earth and are the "cosmic-glue" that holds everything together. You know my heart, my deeds, and my thoughts and yet you love me anyway. Thank you for that. Thank you for your Son and that he died but also raised again that I too could be raised up and be apart of your Kingdom. I Pray for all those in the south who have lost their homes, loved ones, and livelihood. I pray for the pastors, allow them to care for your sheep there as you would. Please let the Christian Community rise up among these hurting people and show them Your love and Your Kingdom. "Lord, may Your Kingdom come and your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven," and may I be apart of your work.


Love, ME 

A Letter Home

Dear God, 

Thank you so much for your love and mercy and how you love me even in my sin. May I be moving forward, moving towards you and not backtracking; moving from my old self and the Pharisee I was and am now. May I work towards living with my thorn in my flesh and all the pain, suffering, and trials I face; May I count them joy. May I realize that I deserve Hell everyday and that anything else in this life or next is grace. Your Grace is enough, sufficient and all I need. May you teach me through any road, journey, or school you choose for me. I am wanting to be molded to your will, and the teaching of your son.Please Lord fill me, use me, and allow me to be used to glorify you by doing your work. Thank you for loving me and never giving up on me.


Love,
Me