The Storm(s)

 So on October 26 2010, there was  a Tornado Warning that turned to a Tornado Watch for the town my college is in and the surrounding area. All of the students were hoping and praying that it would be an over glorified wind storm that would knock out the power for a day or two so that classes would be canceled. Yet as the storm picked up from a strong wind to a torrential down pour as well as the the strong wind. Thunder and lightning added to the effect and the power of the storm. As the mass phone calls, e-mails, and text messages were sent out from the campus police there was some panic but mostly movement to a safe shelter in the buildings. I was in the music department where there are multiple tornado shelter areas. We, the music staff and students, were sitting in the music major lounge and talking. Some of us more brave went outside under a over hang to experience the storm. The torrential down pour and wind made the visibility very poor. The wind was throwing leaves, pushing trees, throwing rain every which way. I was amazed the sheer power of storm and was in awe of all that was happening. I left and went back inside and waited for the Tornado Watch to be lifted. As I was waiting, I was listening to Karl Jenkin's Requiem: Dies Irae. After the Watch was lifted and the calm started to come in, slowly but surely. The rain slowed and the wind started to die down. All of the campus started to come back alive and move into the next hour of life.

We went on with our lives and were slightly dismayed at the thought of classes starting again. We just went through a terrible storm. We talked about the epic happenings, our terror stories of being crammed in rooms and hallways. But no one talked about it much beyond that. The implications of the tornado nor the the strength and power of the storm that was nor that could be. We never even thought about the implications of that all authority, over all of the Earth and its workings, is God's which is given to Christ Jesus. AS I thought about this idea, I remembered a post I stated writing last semester, but never finished nor published. I was writing it in early April, it is as follows:

Yesterday here at college there was this awesome storm.It was a giant Thunderstorm and it was beautiful. Some are afraid of the storm but me on the other hand love to watch them. As a kid my brothers and I would open the garage door and set up chairs and just sit there and watch the storm; the rain falling and covering every surface it could reach, the lightning lighting up the dark sky, and the rolls of thunder always there to help us figure how far away the storm was.

Since I live in a dorm, it is hard to do that, plus I was working on homework at the time of the storm. But as soon as the rain stopped, I went outside. It was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The storm was all around but the rain was gone, and you could see was flashes of lightning lighting up the sky and showing all the dark clouds blocking out the sky. The lightning turned the clouds around it a nice rich purple hue and the rolls of thunder coming a long way off was reassuring of the storm was near but the rain gone. The power and strength of the storm near and threatening but not bearing down upon me.


I thoroughly enjoy the rain, and all the life it brings to the dead world in Spring Time. I am just in awe of the beauty of the earth, even under the curse and being broken, it shouts, points to, and declares the LORD's Majesty, Strength, and Creativity. 

 I would have to say the same is true in the face of the a storm that threatens destruction.For me the phrase and the song, I Will Praise You in the Storm,  took on a more literal meaning for me, rather than a poetical one during this storm. I am always in awe of the power and majesty of storms and their creator. When I think about it, a force of nature which can destroy me, has to obey the LORD's command. The LORD that saved me, who loves me, and provides for me even in the midst of the the "storms" in life. The problems, the pains, and all other tribulations in life where we only see whats in front of us and not the full picture. We may observe the power and the works of God on the other side of the storm but very rarely do we think about the power and the behind the scenes works that are going on as they are happening. But vision is 20/20 in hindsight, and its easier to see the working and the effects of  the storm when the storm dies and the light illuminates the happenings/effects of the storm.

Just a thought, something to ponder next time a storm or a "storm" comes and disturbs our lives.

To Be A Man...

"To be a Man: You must be swift as the coursing river; With all the force of a great typhoon; With all the strength of a raging fire; Mysterious as the dark side of the moon" -From Disney's Mulan

One of my favorite Disney songs and a very good example of how we in the western culture view what it means to be a man, even with the allusions to the East. And what does it actually mean to be a man? All young men and boys are seeking to find this out as well as some "men". 


Two now going onto three weeks ago my dorm put on an event called "Man Week." The week in question, allows the guys of  the dorm to be challenged and to start a conversation on what does it REALLY mean to be a MAN? We had "Man Challenges" where we exhausted the stereotypes of manhood, such as eating and feats of strength and then had a speaker give us his take on manliness and manhood. We were focusing on one verse "Act like MEN: Be Strong, Do Everything in Love." - I Corinthians 16:13-14 (my version of the text). We were discussing the many facets of love and how most people don't equate love with being strong.

Once again my whole Love God, Love Others has popped up. (side note, I feel like God has been pounding this into my head lately). We were all challenged with the idea of self-sacrificing love to those around us, our families, and to our wives in the future. We need to give and give and give with no thought of ever seeing a return. We also talked about cruciformity (conforming to the crucifixion) , service, humility; how it takes a strong man to embody these virtues, and how it actually, probably takes a man relying solely on God's strength being worked out in him to embody these traits.

Looking back on what was discussed and what was observed on what Men look like I know that all men are made for greatness of some form, and we do not want to be any creature other creature other than a man. We don't want to be a pig, a gorilla, an ape, or a weasel. We want to be... loved, respected, validated, and a man. Yet as a boy we have no idea on when we become a man, how to become a man, or what to do when we reach manhood, and it is a scary, scary thing. We want to know and normally we look to our role models, mainly our fathers, and other males in our live. Also, we look up like our favorite superheroes, action heroes in the movies or on TV.  But where does this lead us? Sometimes down the wrong road; some of us, myself included, don't have a father around or one that is a great role model. Where and to whom should we turn to? There a bunch of books that talk about manhood, what it looks like and how we reach it; what the nature of manhood is. Yet I feel, like everything else in life, you can talk and think about it all you want but you will not do any good till you actually do something about it. So where do you turn and what do you do once you learn what manhood is?

Unlike other cultures we do not not have a rite of passage for a boy to become a man, a catalyst to propel the boy to become a man and take all the responsibilities of it. It forces the boy to grow, challenge himself, his thought, beliefs, and ideas. It causes him to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and/or in maturity. My rites of passage are not ideal at best but there are what they are. First, I had to grow up pretty quickly when my parents separated, and yet wanted to hold on to my childhood. It was hard and I am who I am because all of the happenings. In addition I went through a Counselor in Training program known as LGP, or Leadership Growth Program, at camp. I was challenged, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and that changed who I was to the path leading to where I am today. Yet I am still searching what it means to be a man in a world were a male can just be a guy and never really reach manhood, sure he may reach adulthood legally based on how old he is, but never become a man.We as males are asked where are all the men? Honestly, I don't know, most are taken while most have just not reached that level of growth in maturity, myself included I have to say.

Manhood: something I am still trying to figure out on my journey through life.  One thing is Sure and it is "I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago... " -Donald Miller

The Summer and Summer Loving

Due to work, lack of time and lack of a computer I was unable to post and I even forgot i had a blog till now. funny yes I know but its the sad truth. Over the summer my goal was to read the book St. Augustine's Confessions, and failed; instead I read Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, God Will Make a Way by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life by Dr. Henry Cloud. 

I worked as a Lifeguard back home in the County owned pool and taught swim lessons to kids. My vacation from this craziness was a glorious week back at camp as a camp counselor. So I got paid to yell at people and tan, at work and volunteered to do that at camp. Actually, at both work and camp my Goal and plan was to Love and Love On those who I worked with, served, and looked after. I certainly had my good days and bad days with this but that was my lesson for the year and summer, LOVE. Love God and Love Others, the two greatest commandments of the Bible, according to Jesus in Matt. 22:34-40. It was that simple, or so I thought. It was tough, Love is giving freely of yourself and no expecting things in return, love is patient, kind, holds no record of wrong, etc., but in the hot son when everyone is irritable it is hard to love the co-worker who has "screwed" you over, or the patron who is yelling at you because you told them that their child cannot be in the pool with out a swim diaper. 

But above all these petty little things, I had to look how I loving those who were closest to me. This didn't hit me till towards the end of the summer, due to the reading of God Will Make A Way. Because of that book kicking me in the butt I started looking hard and fast at relationships and the lack-there-of. I started praying for God to do what he wanted with my life and for me to have wisdom to make the right choices for and in the future. Let me just warn you now, if you pray for this and truly mean it, it won't be a cake walk in candy-land. God took my prayer and answered it with love, tough love. I had many decisions to make and a short time to make them. I had to figure out if I would be able to return to college, decide on whether or not I should stay with my girlfriend, and how to rebuild my relationship with my father and everything that went with all that and on top of it. 

So life stunk a little but in the end it all worked out for good. My girlfriend and I are now ex-boyfriend and girlfriend but not ex-friends. We  are working on being friends still but at least we talk. My dad and I are now working on having a relationship that works instead of pretending we actually had one. I am back at college with all the perks of being a student. Life marches on and I am faced with many many challenges like to change or not to change majors in my junior year. I was actually depressed for a couple days, but I am better and God love me this broken vessel that I am. O and that whole Love God and Love Others thing, well the Student Activities Board is selling Bracelets that say that exact thing... funny how sometimes God has to beat us over the head with something. So now that i have rambled on abut my summer and lack-there-of i just have to say is LOVE: Love God, Love Others.