A Million Miles, A Cup of Coffee, and A Conversation Continued

Let start by apologizing for the length of the post, all the hyper links, and this post being about my ideas and thoughts getting on "paper". But a lot has happened over the past week, and most if not all was good. I finished this wonderful book by Donald Miller called A Million Miles In A Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. This Book challenged me and also made me realize things in life. The book talks about a "good story"  and that fear hold us back from living out a good story. We also know, and he point out, that we as humans never hit a full climax with a resolution; we have mini-climaxes in our story building up to another story in our life, but always the story moves forward. I want to live a good story so when the credits role people remember me and have good things to say. But I also have to remember that I am just an extra/supporting role charter in the grand scheme of things, in the story of this world. My life is a mini-series i guess and the rest of the movie is History. So I cannot point out my 10secs in the movie and say its about me; no it not about me or you its about Love, God and His Love.

Which reminds me that I also had coffee with the Dean of Student Life Programs on Wednesday Right after having Lunch with my "mentee" that I have. With my mentee we talked about what was going on in our lives and i just gave some ideas and my perspective on things. Then like I  said I had coffee, and we talked about books, what was happening on campus and just different things in life. We talked about Donald Miller, and his books, and the end of our time He gave me a book entitled O me of little faith by Jason Boyett which is signed by the author. That same day My Dorm had the Continuation of the conversation we started in  MAN WEEK. We watched a clip of a very Blunt preacher talking about misconceptions of what it means to be a Man and the extremes that are taken. He Talked about these two extremes: the wimps and the chauvinist. The scary part is I see this in men and boys I live with, work with and am around where ever I go. In addition to all this I started a Book which I am half way done called The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men. So I have had a lot on my mind in addition to all the homework and work I have had. Its exhausting but i am still going... i'm chugging along and the show is almost over. A lot happens in a short time here at college and I have thoughts, friends hurts, and my my own emotions or lack there of at times.

I guess what I am doing here is pointing out some thoughts I have to myself and trying to make sense of it all. so here is my conclusions thus far: I am God's representative to earth trying to live with in the call of God for my life (to work and keep) and his commandments (to Love God... Love Others and Go forth and make disciples). In doing so and actually doing something in light of that I will live a "good story" as I try to constantly walk "away from the person I was a moment ago."

I just am having a hard time with this but I am trying... I am slowly allowing change, for the better, to happen in my life influence from people I respect into my life and just take each day as a way to grow.

To Be A Man...

"To be a Man: You must be swift as the coursing river; With all the force of a great typhoon; With all the strength of a raging fire; Mysterious as the dark side of the moon" -From Disney's Mulan

One of my favorite Disney songs and a very good example of how we in the western culture view what it means to be a man, even with the allusions to the East. And what does it actually mean to be a man? All young men and boys are seeking to find this out as well as some "men". 


Two now going onto three weeks ago my dorm put on an event called "Man Week." The week in question, allows the guys of  the dorm to be challenged and to start a conversation on what does it REALLY mean to be a MAN? We had "Man Challenges" where we exhausted the stereotypes of manhood, such as eating and feats of strength and then had a speaker give us his take on manliness and manhood. We were focusing on one verse "Act like MEN: Be Strong, Do Everything in Love." - I Corinthians 16:13-14 (my version of the text). We were discussing the many facets of love and how most people don't equate love with being strong.

Once again my whole Love God, Love Others has popped up. (side note, I feel like God has been pounding this into my head lately). We were all challenged with the idea of self-sacrificing love to those around us, our families, and to our wives in the future. We need to give and give and give with no thought of ever seeing a return. We also talked about cruciformity (conforming to the crucifixion) , service, humility; how it takes a strong man to embody these virtues, and how it actually, probably takes a man relying solely on God's strength being worked out in him to embody these traits.

Looking back on what was discussed and what was observed on what Men look like I know that all men are made for greatness of some form, and we do not want to be any creature other creature other than a man. We don't want to be a pig, a gorilla, an ape, or a weasel. We want to be... loved, respected, validated, and a man. Yet as a boy we have no idea on when we become a man, how to become a man, or what to do when we reach manhood, and it is a scary, scary thing. We want to know and normally we look to our role models, mainly our fathers, and other males in our live. Also, we look up like our favorite superheroes, action heroes in the movies or on TV.  But where does this lead us? Sometimes down the wrong road; some of us, myself included, don't have a father around or one that is a great role model. Where and to whom should we turn to? There a bunch of books that talk about manhood, what it looks like and how we reach it; what the nature of manhood is. Yet I feel, like everything else in life, you can talk and think about it all you want but you will not do any good till you actually do something about it. So where do you turn and what do you do once you learn what manhood is?

Unlike other cultures we do not not have a rite of passage for a boy to become a man, a catalyst to propel the boy to become a man and take all the responsibilities of it. It forces the boy to grow, challenge himself, his thought, beliefs, and ideas. It causes him to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and/or in maturity. My rites of passage are not ideal at best but there are what they are. First, I had to grow up pretty quickly when my parents separated, and yet wanted to hold on to my childhood. It was hard and I am who I am because all of the happenings. In addition I went through a Counselor in Training program known as LGP, or Leadership Growth Program, at camp. I was challenged, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and that changed who I was to the path leading to where I am today. Yet I am still searching what it means to be a man in a world were a male can just be a guy and never really reach manhood, sure he may reach adulthood legally based on how old he is, but never become a man.We as males are asked where are all the men? Honestly, I don't know, most are taken while most have just not reached that level of growth in maturity, myself included I have to say.

Manhood: something I am still trying to figure out on my journey through life.  One thing is Sure and it is "I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago... " -Donald Miller