A Million Miles, A Cup of Coffee, and A Conversation Continued

Let start by apologizing for the length of the post, all the hyper links, and this post being about my ideas and thoughts getting on "paper". But a lot has happened over the past week, and most if not all was good. I finished this wonderful book by Donald Miller called A Million Miles In A Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. This Book challenged me and also made me realize things in life. The book talks about a "good story"  and that fear hold us back from living out a good story. We also know, and he point out, that we as humans never hit a full climax with a resolution; we have mini-climaxes in our story building up to another story in our life, but always the story moves forward. I want to live a good story so when the credits role people remember me and have good things to say. But I also have to remember that I am just an extra/supporting role charter in the grand scheme of things, in the story of this world. My life is a mini-series i guess and the rest of the movie is History. So I cannot point out my 10secs in the movie and say its about me; no it not about me or you its about Love, God and His Love.

Which reminds me that I also had coffee with the Dean of Student Life Programs on Wednesday Right after having Lunch with my "mentee" that I have. With my mentee we talked about what was going on in our lives and i just gave some ideas and my perspective on things. Then like I  said I had coffee, and we talked about books, what was happening on campus and just different things in life. We talked about Donald Miller, and his books, and the end of our time He gave me a book entitled O me of little faith by Jason Boyett which is signed by the author. That same day My Dorm had the Continuation of the conversation we started in  MAN WEEK. We watched a clip of a very Blunt preacher talking about misconceptions of what it means to be a Man and the extremes that are taken. He Talked about these two extremes: the wimps and the chauvinist. The scary part is I see this in men and boys I live with, work with and am around where ever I go. In addition to all this I started a Book which I am half way done called The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men. So I have had a lot on my mind in addition to all the homework and work I have had. Its exhausting but i am still going... i'm chugging along and the show is almost over. A lot happens in a short time here at college and I have thoughts, friends hurts, and my my own emotions or lack there of at times.

I guess what I am doing here is pointing out some thoughts I have to myself and trying to make sense of it all. so here is my conclusions thus far: I am God's representative to earth trying to live with in the call of God for my life (to work and keep) and his commandments (to Love God... Love Others and Go forth and make disciples). In doing so and actually doing something in light of that I will live a "good story" as I try to constantly walk "away from the person I was a moment ago."

I just am having a hard time with this but I am trying... I am slowly allowing change, for the better, to happen in my life influence from people I respect into my life and just take each day as a way to grow.

Just Because....

Normally when I start a post i have an idea or "outline" of how i want the post to go but sometimes the words come off my finger tips and don't follow exactly what i want them to say. But this is not a normal post this is a post I plan on just free writing, which I am doing right now. I am just writing not thinking, like they made me do in school in middle and high school mostly the teacher would set a timer and we could write anything we just had to write so i am just going to set a timer now for ten minutes and the following will be what comes out::

in 3....2.....1..... GO!

So I have been struggling in school recently not because the actual school work but because of the amount of work i have to do for the winter musical "Hello Dolly" its taking over and killing my life. I told a friend recently "I Know Dolly was a lot of things but I didn't know she was a blood sucking vampire" she laughed... but anyways I been going on a music binge of Pink mainly Raise your glass, so what, and F***ing Perfect (clean edit). I know what is a music major doing listening to a pop artist.... well to answer that question I say because i like the music, even if it isn't well written, the lyrics are good and speak to me. I just understand to a point of these lyrics because well they are true for most people. Pink talks about herself and just opens up and laughs at herself and I respect that. But anyways my musical taste change frequently and I tend to just go with the flow of what I am feeling. Before pink was symphonic metal bands. But to appease my eclectic tastes in music I put my i-Pod on shuffle and just listen skipping as few of the songs as I can, but some I cannot deal with at the time being. but anyways, wow I say that a lot, I was talking with my RD and had a great conversation about life, improvements character traits, books, and Hebrew, because I want a tattoo of "forgiven" in Biblical Hebrew. I am thinking of it as a white ink tattoo on my wrist or maybe a black ink tattoo on my bicep. I don't know, if i do get one it wont be till I graduate or a little before it, as a gift to myself. This idea for a tattoo has a lot of meaning for me and will be a constant reminder of well a lot, I might explain on a later date.

On a totally different note i have a lunch date and a coffee date on Wednesday back to back. The lunch date is with someone I am kinda sorta mentoring but not really and the coffee date is with the dean of student life programs. Its cool, he's cool, and I am looking forward to it. I need to finish reading my Donald Miller book; its sad I haven't finished it yet most likely because of Dolly. Wow, I am ADD in my writing and thinking....o well there goes the alarm so I am done..  I will now go back and fix any typos that occurred so you grammar/spelling/writers/critics will not bite my head off.

A 21st Birthday Tale

So today was, is my birthday, and i really didn't think about it too much because well its a birthday and no one really makes a big deal about birthdays anymore for me, nor do I make it an advertised thing.... Facebook did that.

I don't know about anyone else but birthdays and holidays have lost their childhood magic, the joy and mystery and the power of these days. So anyways I got sung to and got candles and said happy birthday to like 8 others who i share my birthday with. But i am sure everyone wonders what was my first drink? Well, I go to a "Christ Centered" University (aka Christian College) and therefore am not allowed to drink. Therefore I went to a friends house and had a pancake dinner and received a bottle of Sparkling White Grape Juice. the only alcohol I'm having tonight is NyQuil if I feel sick.

So Life on campus keeps moving forward and we just live it. Nothing really changes just the number of years you have lived. As i am getting older i am learning life is shorter than I thought. At a dinner playhouse they say "Life's short, start with dessert." they are right Life is short its a vapor in the grand scheme of time and all other things. Life is short so love is what I say, dessert is nice but love is better. So back to the theme of my life thus far,: "Love God, Love Others".

So I am finishing up the Bible and praying daily. I am just learning to live day by day and not worry about it too much, because I have God on my side. I need to actively work at life but God cares and works all thing s for good. Wow I got off track. Sorry about that my mind is all over the place. But When we celebrate life during birthdays and weddings we also have to remember part of life is death. Death can come at anytime for any reason. So I guess what I am saying is best said through song, because i'm a music major and not a writer.

Books, Books, and Yes More Books

Books, I love books don't you? They are marvelous things, books; they hold a vast amount of knowledge and can take you anywhere you like. Distract you from reality and take you to where imagination rules. They are great things books are, but they are not reality. So please don't confuse the two

I had a goal of reading the bible over this past year (1//1/10-12/31/10) from cover to cover (in chronological order for personal growth and not academic studies), but failed in the end. Therefore I am finishing the Bible now while I am dedicated top finishing that old goal and then I will start writing out the Bible in journals. I am planning to start in the Gospel of John. It is a simple Gospel but full of great insight from Jesus' Beloved. 

In addition to reading the Bible, I have a stack of books to read and i mean a stack of books; no they are not for school, that's a different stack. These are books I read for fun. and i just added like four (4) books to the list. and i have the two books I wanted read over this past summer that i put off, to read. but I get so excited over new books I read them first. So I just Finished two of the four books. I have Read Touching Godliness Through Submission by K.P. Yohannan and Just Do Something: How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc. by Kevin DeYoung. I am now reading Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life then I plan to read The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men by Richard D. Phillip. All along with the 18 credit hours I am taking and working. Sigh this is why I never have anytime to read or enjoy books anymore. I hope you all have a chance to read and learn something from the books in life.


Speaking of Life, Life is a story book that is blank; you are the author writing your own story in it. each day is a blank page, each year a new chapter in life.Are you living the story you would want to read, one that is inspiring or a good moral story, or a Story you would want to live out? Let life's road take you where you need to go and learn along the way but live life, don't just cruise along. So go live and learn from life, books, friends, mentors and other things.God Bless Your Journey. Enjoy!

The Limelight of Backstage

Being in the performing arts (majoring in music and minoring in theatre) I know the joys of being up on stage in the limelight. So since I was little I liked being the center of attention and the limelight was one way to be the center, in everyone's view, getting attention. And I have to admit that i still do love that limelight, we all do. We want some attention, some more than others, but we all want it. I wanted to grow up and be in show biz, either in Hollywood or on Broadway. Hey, a guy can have dreams, mine were being an actor.


But as time has gone on I have seen and been apart of the behind the scenes stuff; the stuff that makes the show actually go on. Not only in the performing arts but also in life. Just helping setting up, tearing down, cleaning up and just helping in easy ways to make whatever happened, will happen, or happening run smoothly. I have enjoyed helping whenever however possible. Its great seeing something come together by the hands of others as well as your own and getting little to no credit.


I enjoy helping others and caring for them; in my dorm i am a jack  of many trades. I am the masseuse, mom, dad, confidant, advice giver, guru, shoulder to lean on, hear to listen, and whatever else is needed. No i am not the RA or anything i am just wanting to be helpful. 


OK, so this started off as why you should not always take the limelight of center stage and has ended up with me taking center stage on backstage stuff... which goes to show we all like to be recognized and like being center of attention. Thus proving its harder than you think, and sometimes you just i don't know are selfish.


This post is very much about me and i guess i have more to work on in my life but I have been learning that sometimes doing work and not getting credit or doing work backstage is better... 

Boxing Day: A Reflection

"Take it all down, Christmas is over
But do not despair, but rather be glad
We had a good year, now let's have another
Remembering all the good times that we had
Oh no more lights glistening
No more carols to sing
But Christmas, it makes way for spring
Though hearts of man are bitter in weather
As cold as the snow that falls from above
But just for one day we all came together
We showed the whole world that we know how to love
Oh no more lights glistening
No more carols to sing
Oh remember that Christmas, it makes way for spring" -Relient K

Well Christmas was yesterday and we have made it through another year, survived the crazy shopping, driving, eating, baking, sleeping or lack of that, and for all the college student and I Finals.....

So what have we learned, what have we done this past year? It has been 365 days since last year's Christmas, and what have we changed in ourselves, the people around us and the world?

Its a sobering thing watching the news of the past year... we had the Gulf incident, the Winter Olympics, Hatti's Earthquake, and all the marriages, divorces and deaths of celebrities. Its also sobering looking back on what has happened in my own life in the past year, I have laughed, cried, grew, stumbled, was depressed, took life by the horns and fell to the wayside. I have grown so much but I have so much more to learn...

One of my Favorite quotes is "I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago... " -Donald Miller, and That is my Goal in life but I want to add to it by saying, "I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago..." and moving closer to the Savior of my soul.  I want to do this as I continue to try to live out the Greatest Commandment: "Love God... Love Others." And this is my New Years Wish, Resolution, thought, Hope, Whatever, to live out what I just Wrote.

I Plan to do it through:

1. Journaling (both personally and the Bible)
2. Prayer
3. Fellowship with Other Believers
4. Prayer
5. Mentors
6. Living and Learning

 Let me Leave you with this from Relient K's I Celebrate the Day for this is exactly how I feel writing this blog post; Till next Year:

"And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be..." -Relient K

Finals and "Home"

Normally I try to post on this blog about once a week, but life happens and you cannot always get  what you want. The main reason I have not posted since 12/5 is because of finals and work.

So i had seven papers/finals and i got them all completed!!!! with some help from friends, food, baked goods from a group of ladies from a church and sleep, it all got completed. Huzzah for a weight was lifted! I won and now am "home."

I say "home" because it is where I mainly grew up and where my family is. It is/was my home, but i live now out of a suitcase here.... I explained this on an older post but will restate it:

So I have come to the realization that I have three or four "homes" but no home or a place to call a home. I feel like the man from the movie The Terminal, a man with country  recognized by anyone just living in a terminal of an airport waiting to go on with my life and have a home again. Let me explain, I went "home" for thanksgiving to be with family and returned "home" to school.  Over the Thanksgiving break I went up to camp my "home" away from "home" and had fun. Yet, I have no home to call home. If I am not making sense and just rattling on I apologize but this is what is going on. I find I only have one true Home, that is Heaven, and I wish I was there so badly away from this horrid place called earth, the shadow of what it should and could be... They do say that the home is where your heart is, and mine is in fifty different places and my mind in a million more, the only place my heart is and longs to be is Heaven and it is getting hard to live this heavy heart and yet living without it at the same time.

Well it maybe sad but think about it, I am 20 living in two different places a year, neither of which is my own, no space to call my own. I live in a space and time of waiting... waiting to move on in life to what some college students call the "real world" and "real life." But real life and the real world is what we are living in right now... it doesn't start when you graduate you are living in it now....

Well living in it has also some problem areas, like dealing with death. My grandfather died today at 9:30 am; We found out on the way to church of all places, huh. So we get to church and every time the pastor talks about dealing with death within the message he looks right where my family is sitting. It was weird but im ok.... I am happy that he was called to heaven in his sleep and is suffering no more, I have already grieved for him once but i will probably mourn for him again at the memorial service next week; i am ok and will be fine. Until i write again....